she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
