i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
