we're chasing vodka with high fives
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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