ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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