Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
