garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
