i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
