I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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