I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
