I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
