Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
