I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
