just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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