Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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