don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
