he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
