She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
