I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize