fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
