This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
