Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
