No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
