I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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