he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
