just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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