we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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