i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
