You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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