i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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