Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
...so i touched it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
