i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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