yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize