i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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