Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
