Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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