He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
