I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize