So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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