Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
