The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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