I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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