So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize