thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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