I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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