Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
