but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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