My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
