if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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