grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
