idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
