SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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