All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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