it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
