Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
