I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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