South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
