I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
