If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
