wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Come see our sink grown plant.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize