He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
