kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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