So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
