Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
