I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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