we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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