She said her name was "party"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
