I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
