I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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