im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
