so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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