TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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