I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
