Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
