is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
