She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
