Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
