she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
