i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
