I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
