If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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